


Per Angusta Ad Augusta

by Daniela_is_not_amused



Series: Life is whatever we conceive it to be [2]
Category: The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Anti Team Cap, Aunt Ana Jarvis, Aunt Peggy Carter, Author Is Sleep Deprived, Author loves to chat in the Comments, Awesome Peggy Carter, BAMF Peggy Carter, Fix-It of Sorts, Healing, How Do I Tag, Howard Stark's A+ Parenting, Hurt Tony Stark, I hurt Tony too much, I'm Bad At Tagging, I'm trying I promise, It Gets Worse Before It Gets Better, Peppy Carter is Tony's godmother, Peter is a Little Shit, Post-Canon, Post-Captain America: Civil War (Movie), Team Iron Man, There will be fluff, Tony Stark Feels, Tony Stark Has A Heart, Tony Stark Has Issues, Tony Stark Needs a Hug, What Have I Done, Writing fluff is hard, confused author is confused, dad jokes, dad tony stark, i don't know how to write fluff, lego toys, mental health, please help me
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-26
Updated: 2017-08-29
Packaged: 2018-12-19 23:11:16
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,925
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11908170
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Daniela_is_not_amused/pseuds/Daniela_is_not_amused
Summary: Iron man; yes. Tony Stark ‘not recommended’.Tony Stark, despite popular belief, never saw himself as a God, as someone who couldn't be replaced. In fact, Tony has always known, deep inside, that he is nothing but an engineer, a self-appointed PR to the Avengers. Tony knows that he has no place among spies, gods and supersoldiers; he has no place among heroes.So he accepted his place and did everything he could in order to prove that he can be useful. He did the only thing he knows how to do well: he fixed things, he pulled out the fires, he covered their mistakes and payed for the things they broke. Until he stopped being useful.orTony is nothing but an engineer: he creates things, yes, but he also fixes them. Until he doesn't.





	1. Per Angusta

**Author's Note:**

> Hi everyone! I'm back. I'm so sorry I left you waiting for so long.. I've been trying to write other stuff but Tony has taken over my mind and my life and I couldn't write anything besides Tony centric stories.
> 
> Once again, this was not beta read and english is not my first language. Please be kind to me and feel free to chat with me in the comment section. Follow me on Tumblr @i-cannot-put-the-notion-away for weird, fandom related stuff
> 
> Enjoy!

Tony, just like his father before him, was a lot of things: a genius, a billionaire, a businessman, a showman. But, beneath all that, he was just _a man_.

 

Life taught him that, when the world turns against you and everything is damned to hell, you can probably pinpoint the exact moment when you screwed up royally, where everything went wrong. This time, however, he just _couldn't seem to find it_.

 

It started when he was just three, or, at least, that's his first memory of things going wrong. His dad was drunk _again_ , not that he could understand the implications of that, at the time. Tony had just arrived from a walk with Jarvis ( _the blood and flesh one_ , his first friend) and his shoes, along with his tiny shorts, were full of mud. Tony doesn't remembers falling or playing with dirt, but he remembers his dad mindlessly ordering Jarvis to do something. That was when Howard noticed him, hiding behind Jarvis' legs and a flash of light sparked behind his eyes. Howard grabbed him by the arm and demanded an explanation but Tony could only stare in fear while biting his own lips, keeping a sob from escaping his throat.

-Sir, young Anthony fell and we were on our way to clean him up. Perhaps we could discuss this _later_.

 _God bless him_. Jarvis was always stepping between Tony and Howard, regardless of the consequences that could bring him. His mom used to do the same, before the drugs took her will to live and Dad became even more angry and upset.

Tony can't exactly describe what happened next besides the fact that he had to wear long sleeves and cardigans in order to hide his father's handprint on his right arm and that his broken lips hurt for a week. After that, he made sure **he was _always_ looking presentable** , even at home.

 

His next memory is when he is five. His dad was in the workshop and _all_ that Tony wanted was to spend some time with him before Howard had to go to some random meeting. His dad saw him walking in and grumbled something beneath his breath before telling him to be useful and pick up the electric welding. Tony did just that and then stepped back so the light wouldn't hurt his eyes. Somehow, some of the sparks landed on Tony's small arm and, when Tony tried to tell his dad, Howard told him to stop whining before he would kick him out for good. So Tony shut up and learnt that complaining about being hurt brought him a lot of trouble and that **he should suffer in silence**.

 

He is six when he is sent to a boarding school and learns that **money can buy a lot of things** , but only if you are willing to spend said money. Howard, however, wasn't willing to take the time or money to insure that his son wouldn't be abused while he was away, so Tony had to deal with the older kids by himself. Jarvis would turn a blind eye and teach him how to care for his wounds and Tony would smile and pretend that the bruises were the only lasting damage.

 

“ **Starks are made of iron**. If you can't behave like a Stark, you aren't worthy of being a Stark”. Howard would say that a lot, specially towards the end, when Tony was already old enough to choose his own path and wasn't afraid of going against him anymore.

 

He is fourteen when he goes to college and, while he is happy to leave home, he can't help but to fear for his mom, now that she is alone. He begged Jarvis and Aunt Peggy to look after her but they are getting old and Tony knows **Howard's drinking problem is getting worse**.

 

He is fifteen when he creates Dum-e and everyone calls him the _youngest genius of the century_. Howard, after a lot of insistence from both Jarvis and Aunt Peggy, visits him to see Dum-e and it goes as well as expected. Howard points out every mistake Tony has made, ridicules Dum-e for being such a basic robot and laughs as he says that **Tony is _too damaged, too stupid, too broken_ to build something good**.

Tony tells him to leave and ends up punching the wall, out of anger, effectively breaking two fingers and dislocating his pulse while doing it.

 

He is seventeen, his parents are dead and Tony spends a lifetime blaming Howard for it. Jarvis dies less than two years later and Anna disappears after that. He lets Stane guide him to a life of alcohol, parties and bad choices and **it's all his fault**.

 

He is thirty three when Afghanistan happens and his life changed for the worst. He comes home after six months and **the nightmare doesn't ends there**. ~~Obie~~ _Stane_ tries to kill him once more; rips out his heart and Tony can't help but to think that the Grimm Brothers were _too kind_ when they described what this feels like.

 

He is thirty five and he's dying _once more_. He has faced death many times before but he has never felt so scared. “ _I can't die now, it's not fair. Not now… Not when I finally have something to live for_ ”, he thinks has he feels his heart slowly giving up, everyday a bit more than the day before. **Life isn't fair, not to Starks, at least.**

 

He is thirty six when Loki happens and the Good Ol' Captain comes back from the North Pole and they avenge the Earth. The avengers move into the new Avengers Tower and Fury expects them to get along. Shield isn't _exactly_ paying up for their costs but Tony has more than enough money and, this way, he will ensure his position within the team.

They _don't_ like him and waste no effort in hiding it. He is still _just_ a consultant, even though he is the one who pays for their expanses and builds them new weapons and cleans up after the mess they make when they go out avenging. Tony takes the blame for their collective mistakes and deals with all the diplomacy and tries to smooth things out with foreign governments but things don't always come out as planned.

Tony gets yelled and stared at, he endures mocking from Clint and Thor and all the morality lessons from the All-powerful Steve Rogers. It's fine, though. Tony knows he is nothing but an engineer, a self-appointed PR to the Avengers. **Tony knows that he has no place among spies, gods and supersoldiers; he has no place among heroes, so he just takes what he can get.**

 

He is thirty eight (“ _Jesus Christ, I'm thirty eight already! Friday, do I have any gray hairs in the back of my head?_ ”) when Steve rebels against him and the UN, doesn't signs the accords and breaks a ton of international laws. America's golden boy becomes a war criminal and Tony tries to do the only thing he is good at: fixing things. The accords would make it possible for them to walk away from every past mistake with a clean record but Steve and the others are too stupid to see it.

  
He is thirty eight when he finds out his parents were murdered by Roger's best friend, Bucky Barnes. He is thirty eight when he finds out Rogers knew all along and didn't told him. **He is thirty eight when he feels his mechanical heart break under Cap's shield and his blood runs cold inside his veins.**


	2. Ad Augusta

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok, before we start, let me point this out: As I'm starting to write this chapter (or, at least, the semi-final version of it) it's 12.45 pm and I'm starting to feel a migraine forming. This chapter won't be good because 1st) I'm tired, 2nd) It's late, 3rd) I can't write fluff and 4th) I'm just a bad writer in general. This being said, thank you for reading, for commenting and I apologize in advance. You may continue.

   Tony is four when he _truly_ meets Aunt Peggy. Until then, she had always just been Father's co-worker, despite the fact that Tony knew she wasn't a scientist or a engineer. Jarvis had told him that she was a family's friend, that she helped Father with some of his inventions and that she was a very bright and smart woman. She would show up at his birthday and Christmas’ dinner parties but so did a bunch of other people he didn’t know about, so it didn’t count.

   She shows up in the middle of the day, on a Sunday, just after lunch time. Howard orders Jarvis to stop Tony from leaving his room but Peggy cuts him before he can finish and tells Jarvis to bring Tony downstairs. Surprisingly (to Tony, at least), Jarvis chooses to ignore Howard’s complains and, in a matter of seconds, Tony is being guided into the living room by his hand. He smiles as his eyes meet Peggy’s and steps closer to hug her, only to be stopped by Howard himself.

   -You have seen the boy. He can go back upstairs now, don’t you think?

   Tony looks down and prepares himself for being shoved back into his room when he hears Peggy laughing at Howard’s remark. It’s a sardonic laugh, full of disapproval and repressed anger.

   “ _Oh no_ ,” he thought “ _Father hates to be laughed at, especially by ladies. It always makes him mad_.”

   -Howard, I’m not here to talk about work. I’m here to spend some time with my godson. Or have you forgotten that I am, in fact, his godmother?

   Tony can still picture Howard’s reaction to being scolded by Aunt Peggy. He can also remember how happy and surprised he was when he found out that Peggy wasn’t just a _really nice person_ but that she could also talk back to Howard without any trace of fear in her voice.

   Up until this day, Tony can still remember how Aunt Peggy asked Jarvis to bring Tony’s toy box and pushed the furniture away in order to make space for them to play with his new lego train set. _God_ , Howard had never looked so upset before and Tony had almost _plead_ Aunt Peggy for them to play upstairs but she didn’t take no for an answer and told Howard that “ _a house is not a museum and children need to play_ ” when he complained about cleaning up the mess they were making.

   Tony found out, years later, that Jarvis had taken a picture of them without anyone knowing. The picture is still in a frame, sitting on his bedside table.

 

   Tony is ten when his mom is away on a spring shopping trip to Italy and Howard is busy inventing something and having meetings out of town. He’s supposed to stay at boarding school for the weekend but Jarvis shows up and, somehow, convinces the principal to let him go home for the next two days.

   They go out for lunch with Aunt Peggy and Tony tells them everything about his new science project and about some random science-related thing he had found out about recently. Aunt Peggy has to leave soon after lunch, but not before ice cream and promising to visit more often.

   Aunt Ana bakes him pasta for dinner and lets him take two extra cookies before going to bed. Jarvis tells him a goodnight story about Captain America and Peggy shows up just in time to kiss him to sleep.

   The next day, while Jarvis drives him back to boarding school, Tony does his best not to be upset, knowing that if Howard ever found out about what they did for him, they would be in a lot of trouble. Still, he sheds a tear when he hugs Jarvis for what would be the last time until Christmas.

 

   Tony is fourteen when he’s accepted in MIT and Jarvis, along with Aunt Peggy and Aunt Ana, were the first people to know. Howard made a huge deal about it, at least, when talking to the press and business partners; he told everyone how Tony would follow his footsteps and assure the Stark legacy.

   Tony smiled and accepted the words of surprise and praise but didn’t payed much attention to them. The only important thing was how happy his mother was that her son was such a bright young man, that Aunt Peggy told him she always knew he would make it (“ _I was never worried for you, Tony. Not because of who your father is but because of who you are. You are the brightest person I’ve met and your heart is made of gold, despite what people think. I know your value and if MIT ever doubts it, well, it’s their problem, don’t you think?_ ”) and that Jarvis was so proud that he gifted him with a very expensive pocket watch.

 

   Tony is fifteen when he creates Dum-e and meets Rhodey. The older student had come to his bedroom to see his newest creation, like most students and teachers before him, and, instead of congratulating him or asking him about Dum-e’s programming, made a joke about how the robot was trying to climb the wall. Tony replied with something snarky and, for whatever reason, Rhodey kept coming back and helping him with his stupid, barely thought-through plans.

 

   He is twenty eight when a young redhead shoves Coldwell, an accountant with a metaphorical stick up his behind most of the time, out of the way with the help of Pepper Spray to point out a mistake to Mr. Stark himself. She saves a ton of money to SI and Tony, “ _from the sheer goodness of his heart_ ” hires her as his personal assistant. They seem to bond right away and Mr. Potts becomes Pepper within the first two days (she only takes one year, thirty-four days, eight hours, two minutes and fifty seven seconds to trade Mr. Stark for Tony and, yes, she was very upset at the time with his behavior but Tony knows the importance of small victories).

 

   He is thirty three when he looks death in the eyes, refuses to accept his fate and rises once more from the ashes. He comes back broken and tired but Pepper, Rhodey, JARVIS and all his bots are there to welcome him home, so it’s fine. He kills Stane and tries his best to deal with everything he has been through. But it’s fine, because Pepper loves him and Rhodey has his back (for most part) and JARVIS does everything he can to protect him and the suit. Dum-e brings him smoothies (they aren’t edible because the dumb bot still doesn’t know he can’t give oil to Tony but that doesn’t matter) and You and Butterfingers do their best to keep the shop clean and ready to be used.

 

   Tony is thirty six when he wins a science bro and things are slightly better. He is useful and, despite everything, SHIELD knows his importance and people all over the world feel safe because of the Avengers. He’s always happy to help.

 

   He’s thirty eight when he meets Peter. It’s not in the best situation but the kid’s happiness and hope is enough to make him smile. They fight, they are told they won and they rebuild their life. The kid sticks around, even after everything is done, and keeps coming back. He doesn’t ask for flashy toys (like the Avengers had) or acts like Tony owes him something (like Stane had) so they relationship is awkward in the first few months and Tony doesn’t know what to think when Peter accidentally calls him dad for the first time.

   They were in the shop when that happened and Peter was saying goodbye and thanking him for the last time before going home. It was a slip but it caught them by surprise and Tony’s expression must have been bad because Peter looked like he was going to cry before running away.

   Peter ignored his calls and texts for a full week before Rhodey decided enough was enough and picked him up from school, took him to the tower and forced them to talk about what happened. The kid, obviously, tried to apologize and begged for Tony to not stop talking to him and didn’t shut up until Tony pulled him into a hug and told him that he would be proud to have a son like him (“not that I’m old enough to have a fifteen years old kid, obviously”. “Of course not, Mr. Stark”).

 

 

   Mr. Stark?

 

 

   Tony?

 

 

_Dad?_

 

   Peter’s voice echoed through the shop, pulling Tony from his walk down the memory lane. He was standing only a few feets away, with what Rhodey likes to call “a kicked puppy expression”.

 

   -It’s everything ok?

 

   He was fidgeting again, Tony noticed. Pete’ seemed to do that a lot when he was nervous or afraid. “But there is nothing to be afraid of”, he thought, “unless…”

 

   -Is my favourite son worried about me? - Tony _simply couldn’t_ pass an opportunity like this so he gave Peter his best smirk and hoped for the best.

 

   -I’m your only son. - Peter mumbled without thinking. Tony smirk only grew as he saw Peter look of betrayal when he realized he said that out loud. - It’s dinner time. Captain Rho-, erhhh, I mean, _Rhodey_ said he was almost arriving with the pizzas and Pepper just opened the first bottle of wine so… Maybe we should go upstairs?

 

   “ _Oh, movie night. Right. Pizza, Rhodey, Peter and Pepper… Ok, fine, yeah, I totally didn’t forgot about it._ ”

 

   -Lead the way, kid. I’m right behind you.

 

   - _Hi “right behind you”, I’m Peter._

 

   Tony literally gasped as he abruptly stopped walking, staring in disbelief to the kid in front of him. Peter, however, didn’t turned around and only stopped when he reached the elevator, laughter ringing loudly when he saw Tony’s expression on the mirror. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok, as I'm writing this final note it's 3.27 am and my brain has officially shut down. I tried and it's all that matters. Hope you enjoyed it, that it wasn't too cringy and horrible to look at. 
> 
> Fun facts: Lego bricks were invented in 1949 and in 1969 the lego train was invented. The "Lego" name was formed from the Danish words "LEg GOdt" ("play well"). Later, it someone realized that in Latin the word means "I put together". 
> 
> Btw, I know Tony was born in 1970 so he would technically be 47 by now but last chapter I changed his age just because and didn't felt like changing it back this chapter. So, I apologize.
> 
> As always, comments make my day and inspire me to write more and more, so feel free to comment down below. My tumblr is sassy-shadowy-student and I'm around (almost) 24/7 so come and chat with me. Seriously, I have no friends and a lot of time. Have pity on me. Ok, byeeee

**Author's Note:**

> Once again, thanks for reading and remember: all comments are welcomed and appreciated!


End file.
